The breeze is very gentle and the clouds in the sky are moving leisurely as they drift past overhead. I feel the comfortable warmth of the day on my skin while watching the tide flow in ever so slowly. The ripples on the river from the breeze are different today, as they show themselves in the reflections cast on the water from the sky and trees overhead.
I sit here wondering what a pity it is that I need to leave here in a few days to go back to my world, the civilisation that my life has created. I wonder how it would be possible to live like this feeling the open spaces, enveloped with the sound of birds of many species around me carrying on their conversations and their lives. I wonder if this reality will ever become mine again?
Related: “A Journey of Self Reflection”
As I grow older I realise my generation is top of the tree in my family. I have done my life my own way, totally created by me but not necessarily understood by others. I have loved and lost and loved again. I have developed friendships, some now well over fifty years, that have sustained me and my growth. All these close relationships have been smooth in their deliverance, have been unconditional, loving and caring. How grateful I am every time I think of these people who have been there, mostly living at a distance, but never far away in each other’s thoughts, as a result of our letters, phone calls and or the internet.
I have travelled the roads of life, in a life that has been full. There have been the ups and the downs along the way, none of which I would have been without for the growth and experiences that have come as a result. My journey has been a story which no doubt will one day be told. I have experienced the good with the not so good, the trials and tribulations of life that come to us all in time. I have worked in many areas to gain more knowledge of me and who I really am. I have been vulnerable and open thus experiencing the hurt that can transpire as a result, without any regrets.
I do know me, the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly! The one thing that has stood out throughout these travels has been the relationships along the way.
People have come in and out of my life as it has been necessary for whatever reasons. The most valuable ones have stayed and helped, guided or expanded with words of advice or validation. They have given unconditional love without any expectation of a return or acknowledgement. They have been silent and listened. That being the most needed at times of deep contemplation or consideration for decisions to be made.
I have no real regrets. There is nothing in my life that I would want different other than the opportunity to create even deeper connection from a soul level. Things that may have been done or said, sometimes maybe on reflection not understood or expressed well, have come and gone. Each had their own lesson for me to understand and reflect on deeper in my own time, when necessary.
As a result of my childhood, my course was planned, even though I moved on and followed a different road to the one prepared for me by my elders. With children we hope and pray for their lives to be what they (and sometimes us) want and feel that we have the road to show them. Our road is only a small path of what could be and where they could go. It is all too easy to hope that the path we want for them is the right one. They have their lessons to learn too and have us as elders to give advice and direction whilst they are young until they are ready to make their own place and space in their lives. I believe we had our chance when we were young and now it is their opportunity to become all that they can become as a result of the parenting we gave. We can only pray that what we gave them is enough to sustain them whilst they grow to become who they are meant to become. With time and age, we may then be blessed to have them as equals in our lives where we can develop good friendships on a different footing.
Life’s learning are a result of who we are. If we want to make a difference and push the boundaries, we need to go out and do it. To grow from the experiences gained and hopefully grow to be an even better person than we were programmed to be. I fought in my youth the path that I was guided to. I wanted so much more from my life than had been shown to me and set out to create just that, which I have done. I know that my life is very different as a result of that which I was reared to live but I do know deep inside that my ancestors are pleased with where I have gone and what I have done. I seek their wisdom, as handed down daily, for reflection on how I am progressing.
Of course, there are things that I could have done to have made my journey easier. There are many roads to the top of the mountain (where we finally all want to be) but as a mere mortal I have gone the scenic route to recognise many of the learnings on my journey so far. I have had doubts along the way at times and wondered why I have chosen particular roads, but there has always been something that has shown me that the path was the right one at that time for me to venture down. I have stood tall and done what I have had to do in the light of those around me who maybe did not agree. I have no regrets and would not change where I have been or who I have known along the way.
I wonder if you, the reader, have reflected on your life’s journey yet? I
If so, have you wondered if you had done things differently where you would be now? For me having loved, laughed and cried many times I see now the blessings all these experienced have been, the journey it has taken me on, to be who I am today.
I know who I am, I know what I stand for, and I know where I am going in what time is left for me to complete what this life has wanted me to complete. I wonder, can you say the same for where your road has taken you?
May you travel safely as you reflect too on your life and alter the path easily when you need to, to take a new fork in the road.
Jennie is available for one-on-one sessions via Skype or in person.
For more information email her at firstname.lastname@example.org