My life has taken many twists and turns, many of which I recognise the reasons in hindsight. It is such an incredible thing to be able to look back and see where my ‘now’ thoughts were created and what associations and friendships have brought me to where I am now today.
Reflecting is a wonderful thing to be able to do. It is the time that is needed for this and again I say thank you to the Divine for giving me the chance to unravel the threads of what I have created this lifetime.
I sit in wonder at the paths that I have traveled and now reflect on the why and when of learning over my life time. Going back to very early times as a child my grandmother’s sayings come through loud and clear now. Why has it taken so long and such a journey to not have heard until this time?
My grandmother died at 84 and her greatest teachings have not been forgotten. Her wisdom was so great and profound, and so misunderstood by those around her who did not see what she saw. Her second sight was there and if there was one person I could sit with and talk with now, it would be her so that I could gain from her wisdom.
She was my rock as a child and instilled in me the way I have lived much of my life. She would have been proud to know that her words of wisdom have guided me so many times.
I have a book “Laddie, a true blue story’ by Gene Stratton-Porter that she inscribed for her first grand daughter and it says:
‘1948 … To be given to my eldest grand daughter when she is ten, because my father (your great grandfather, W.B. Sanger) gave it to me on my 10th birthday in 1910.
If you will be patient and read this you will find that it is really a pattern for living, only these days we don’t like to talk as they did then even though we really feel the same underneath!
It is all a matter of comparison.
As the generations rolls by we all laugh at the old things but when we get old ourselves I guess we find the reason for living in the same old way – if we have any sense!’
What wise words and she was only 48 years old. My mother was expecting me at that time and my ‘Granny’ always told me that she always knew I was going to be her little girl. She was like my mother. She taught me to live life, she gave me my values (which of course were reinforced by my parents), gave me my spiritual beliefs and showed me a way that I didn’t get to really explore until I was in my mid 30’s. The words she wrote above were reinforced and are still held today.
We are no different in the 2000’s than any other age in our inner thoughts in both love and fear. We feel the same, we do the same things, just via different methods and experiences, as time has progressed. Rereading this book, that has travelled with me throughout my life, I recognise what gifts I have to pass onto my grandsons. I am sad that I have no grand-daughter this time round to share the types of experiences I would have shared with her.
Again I am at another crossroads in my life and wondering ‘why’ and ‘what’. We all come to a time when we look back and wonder what is the next road we are to follow. I have had many in my life, and have experienced some large ‘cross-roads’ for change over the last 25 years. Now I feel I am there again about to embark on another new journey that will take me in another direction.
I am being pulled back into my earlier learnings when I first came onto my path consciously in this lifetime. My mind is retracing steps I took, people I met, music I listened to and books I bought and read.
I sit here and the tears from yesteryear flow gently as I revisit what was and what could have been. Listening to my favourite piece of music, Canon in D by Pachelbel, brings up memories long forgotten or placed safely on the back burner waiting to emerge when the time was right. It appears that the time is now and it is right to start that next phase of being.
My gratitude is overwhelming for all the people who have passed by me in some form over so many years. Many are gone and forgotten, yet so many are still there in the wings awaiting their time to come back into my world. I have been overwhelmed in the last couple of months with the people who have shown up after many years, and I am having the opportunity to rebuild the relationships that never went. I find it amazing how we pick up the pieces easily after years of separation. The words flow like we were together yesterday. How blessed am I!
Jennie is available for one-on-one sessions via Skype or in person.
For more information email her at firstname.lastname@example.org