This was one of my grandmothers favourite saying that I remember so very well from when I was a child. She used to have many of these quotes but this is one of them that has stayed with me and today has shown me again something I needed to know and understand. In fact it has taken fifty plus years for me to really comprehend what she was talking about all those years ago. I see it now so clearly in the misjudgements I make at times my own life.
My grandmother read her ‘Daily Light’ every day from early childhood and she left it to me. This is a very small book that has a morning and an evening reflection for every day of the year. Having been born in 1900 she lived her life by it as best she could. This is a book with a quote and a verse from the Bible on every page. She was a spiritual woman. She would always refer to herself as a Quaker. She endeavoured to teach me these and many other life skills when I was very young. She spoke in a language that I found hard to comprehend as a child and as I had not had the experiences she was talking about, I never quite understood what she was hoping I would grasp.
“Pearls before swine” and “casting pearls” refer to a quotation from Matthew 7:6 in Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”
I am learning, very late in life, that throwing or giving to those who are unable to see or appreciate the gift is my lack of understanding of where they are at that particular time in their growth. Fishermen cast their nets into the sea to get a large quick catch, and in business we do that too if we do not have our target market right. What we get as a result is not necessarily what we wanted in the beginning as we were unable to discern clear enough what we were really looking to gain.
I woke this morning with this clear message, which I have kept denying in my life in the hope that things would change. This has been a very painful lesson and one that I am just learning on how it has affected me and my life so far.
This lesson for me has been one of great disappointment and pain. I have not only experienced it in business but personally as well. I was running a course a few months ago and it came to me afterwards that what I was teaching was not in the realm of understanding for many of the participants. Again, yesterday I recognised in my personal life how I have continued to do the same thing to my own detriment. I find it so hard that others do not see the world as I see it. They have been too damaged as a result of experiences in their lives and by the lack of ‘kindness’ and ‘goodness’ bestowed on them. Not to trust others is alien to me as I was so blessed with love, kindness and goodness in my formative years.
Related: “A Journey of Self-Reflection”
Now it is time for reflection and I ask you to consider these questions.
Why do I expect others to understand where I am coming from?
Why do others not see the goodness in themselves that I see?
Why do I see the potential in others that they themselves do not see?
Why is trust so very hard to accept for some when it is proved over and over again?
Discernment has always been one of my biggest lessons. Learning to do this in the context of the other person or situation is all important. My wanting to support others to make their road easier is my ‘block’. Learning to allow others to find out in their own time themselves, through their own experiences, is my greatest downfall. I now realise that my grandmother was teaching me that casting pearls of any type before someone who is a confrontational, aggressive or an unbeliever in the message only has them harm or turn on us.
Some fifteen years ago I remember this lesson coming into my life and recognising then what I was not learning this lesson. I walked away in recognition. Again today I find myself continuing in the same situation but more painful than before, as it always is! Recognising what does not serve my soul is such a big one for me.
As humans we have three brains, the intellectual brain in our head, the emotional brain in our heart and our body’s brain in our gut. They all have their own job to do and dependent on whichever you are here to learn and understand, be it body, mind or spirit, your experiences will be around one or more of these.
I ask you the reader, how do you cast pearls before swine?
Who or what do you give your goodness, love, trust and knowledge to that is unable to understand or comprehend your message?
Do you recognise it and realise that you are in the wrong place, understanding that you can’t change another’s path?
Do you move onto where you really need to be with like-minded people or situations and do your magic there?
These are questions that I ponder and wonder as I reflect too these questions often.
Finding where we best fit in is sometimes harder to find. As we move through our life meeting new people and developing relationships we will find our place. Our values and beliefs may change and bring about greater learning of what serves us best at this time in our life. What we learned as children does not necessarily work for us as an adult.
As the world moves faster and faster and we become more and more in-tune, we hear the messages that whisper to us, tap us on the shoulder and if we do not hear, give us a big push, which usually hurts, to wake us up.
I have had my fair share of these over the years as a result of not listening. I assure you that these experiences have hurt too as pain appears to be my greatest teacher in this life. I can control my mind and use willpower to move through most things but I must admit that I do go kicking and screaming when I do not learn the lesson.
Learning when to give in and allow the greater power to expose itself is such a big one for me personally. I am learning to allow as best I can at this time. I do my best each day to live up to what I create on waking each morning and check in with myself each night before sleeping on how the day has panned out for me.
Gaining our knowledge that is present deep inside can be expensive both financially and emotionally. Recognising that all people are not ready to hear gives us the opportunity to understand discernment.
As I learn to be more circumspect to whom I give my gifts and knowledge, my life will become easier as I know in the end, I will be my greatest and harshest judge.
Jennie is available for one-on-one sessions via Skype or in person.
For more information email her at email@example.com